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America Goes to Family Therapy
​Happy 4th of July!

The 4th of July is my favorite holiday. I reminisce about being at the beach with family, barbecues, fireworks, and the fun, carefree sentiment we all shared as kids with the adults in our lives. Thank you, founding fathers, for projecting that people would want a summer holiday. With the risk of being slightly controversial, I don't think we can ignore the grave uncertainties America faces today. How can adopting a pro-American attitude create a sense of unity for our communities, nation, and ourselves as individuals?

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We Can Do Better. We're all aware of our nation's historical and current flaws that have heavily influenced disparities, injustices, and suspicious policies. We're also amid a political shitshow that looks like reality TV, yet it's happening unscripted in real time. It's worthy of judgment and headshaking. If America were a couple in therapy, we would be talking about how to find ways to disagree and hold respect for one another. We would work on talking with each other rather than communicating via social media. We would transform black-and-white "I'm right, you're wrong" stances to genuine curiosity. As far as I know, the White House has not hired therapists to help political leaders discuss challenging matters with one another. However, we as individuals can alter our attitudes from a sense of self-righteousness to be there for the collective.

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Family Therapy for our Nation. Think of your family's dysfunction (we all have it, acknowledge it momentarily). You can talk about how dysfunctional your family is, but what happens when another person says something about a family member? Do you begin to protect and defend them? Because you care about them deeply, and while family may drive you crazy, you would do anything for them. If we apply this attitude toward our country, we'll create a sense of unity. A common observation people have about America is the lack of community. With rates of loneliness skyrocketing, it's a relatively objective perspective. What if we started cheering for our own home team, our country, to flourish? It doesn't come without criticism but from a place of courage to stand for justice and unity, compassion for one another, and connection beyond ourselves.

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Heard it all, none of it's shocking. As a therapist, my own thoughts and opinions are outside the therapeutic space. It's a practice of separating self from the job to focus on the client's experience. All of the things the public sees on social media, therapists hear from individuals. Imagine hearing right from the person on Twitter (or X) their thoughts, such as: why capitalism sucks, why it's the best, gripes with healthcare, social justice concerns, why Republicans suck, why Democrats suck, why we're going to hell-in-a-handbasket, school systems, freedom of speech, importance of religious faith, Nihilism, add any other philosophy you want to throw out there (Marxism, Buddhism, Socialism, etc.), elections, plus insert whatever topic causes outrage on your newsfeed. When I'm asked, "What do you think?" I say, "It's not about me," because, in truth, it's not. I use this question as a grounding point: What can be challenged individually for greater connection?

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I'll turn this question to you.

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Happy 4th of July!