“Focus on the moment, not the monsters that may or may not be up ahead.”
Ryan Holiday, The Obstacle is The Way

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"I'm not depressed, but life feels blah." Can you relate?

We're in 2024, four years after the pandemic lockdowns, election season is in full swing, and social media remains the number one way people are dating, finding their news sources, and interacting (to distinguish from interconnecting) with one another. Technology expedited opportunities so we may never have to leave our houses. What once was normal, talking to people in grocery stores, the person next to you at a coffee shop, or flirting in real life rather than over an app atrophied. Living in "unprecedented times" feels like a blanket statement for how life just is. If you have a case of the "blah's," you're not alone.

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Symptoms of Blah may look like:

• I have fulfilling relationships with friends and family.
• Work is generally going well
• I have a general sense of purpose and meaning in life.
• Taking care of myself is part of my routine.
• And there's a feeling I can't shake that life feels somewhat mundane, lackluster, and disconnected.

"Life on paper looks good, but something is missing I can't quite put my finger on." Sound familiar? I feel it, too. I don't have answers, but I'll offer theories as to the root causes of this feeling.

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So Easy It's Hard? Dating apps, Amazon Prime, and Netflix have made life extremely convenient. Even when algorithms spoon-feed us options that seemingly suit our preferences, we spend endless time swiping for who to date, what to buy, and what to watch without feeling satisfied. Choices lead to overwhelm, resulting in chronic dissatisfaction. Decision fatigue impedes our ability to take action, leading us to spend endless time expecting something will alter how we feel. We don't have to leave our houses, making all these interactive endeavors solo activities. Life has become so easy that any effort feels immense. The internal negotiation to take the path of more resistance- going to the grocery store, asking someone out to their face, or choosing a book club over watching The Bachelor- feels mentally taxing. Choosing short-term comforts that typically involve swiping vs driving in your car, arriving at a destination that necessitates talking to people may feel like a chore- but it's worth it.

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Re-Working Happiness. Let's start with three happiness myths:

1. Easy: It shouldn't require work or effort
2. Deserved: I'm owed happiness as part of life
3. Baseline: There's something wrong if I'm not happy

These happiness myths lead to dissatisfaction and negative stories about ourselves.

Re-work Happiness:

1. Happiness takes consistent effort. Satisfaction is a short-term feeling when we accomplish a difficult task. The accumulation of satisfaction leads to an overall sense of purpose, and purpose is foundational to overall happiness or contentment in life.
2. No one owes you anything. Once we're adults, no one owes us anything. People who didn't get the care they deserved as children often grow entitled to compensate for the sentiment of "not enough." When we accept no one owes us anything, we no longer think transactionally and adopt a generous disposition.
3. Not being happy does not mean that something is wrong with you. Feeling blah is part of life, and that does not mean you need to ask Chat GPT which mental health diagnosis you meet according to the DSM. Emotional and mental pain serve as our greatest teachers. When we examine pain, we gift ourselves the opportunity to form a more intimate relationship with ourselves.

If you're feeling blah, know you're not alone. Being in relationships with others and sharing these thoughts/feelings invites people to give empathy, which is more medicinal than swiping on an app.

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You're Not Alone,

Brittani