Lessons In Intimacy

"This is why boredom can feel so suprisingly, aggressively unpleasant: we tend to think of it merely as a matter of not being particularly interested in whatever it is we're doing, but in fact it's an intense reaction to the deeply uncomfortable experience of confronting your limited control." Oliver Burkeman, Four Thousand Weeks Of all the identifiably intolerable emotional states, boredom shows up the strongest. The above passage from Oliver Burkeman's Four Thousand Weeks frames why boredom...

THE TOPIC EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT AND NO ONE IS DOING WELL: DATING "Are you seeing anyone?" "How did you meet?" "Are you married?" "How's dating going?" "Are you on the apps?" "How are things with (insert name)?" These are opening conversation topics that people ask all the time. As I write this, I just got off the phone with someone inquiring about couples therapy. The inquirer asked the question no interviewer could legally ask, "Have you ever been married?" Everyone wants to have a sneak...

“A creative life is an amplified life. It's a bigger life, a happier life, an expanded life, and a hell of a lot more interesting life.” Elizabeth Gilbert When the discomfort of the unknown strikes, it can take hold as a tidal wave of panic. We'll scour the internet for answers on what haircare products to buy to fight frizz, diagnose the pain in our pinky, and which restaurants are worth the while. We don't just buy things without influencers telling us what to use, discern which internet...

“Focus on the moment, not the monsters that may or may not be up ahead.”Ryan Holiday, The Obstacle is The Way "I'm not depressed, but life feels blah." Can you relate? We're in 2024, four years after the pandemic lockdowns, election season is in full swing, and social media remains the number one way people are dating, finding their news sources, and interacting (to distinguish from interconnecting) with one another. Technology expedited opportunities so we may never have to leave our houses....

"Mastery is an inner-directed life externally expressed." -Michael Gervais, Sport and Performance Psychologist I don't usually watch sports, but the Paris Olympic Games grabbed my attention. The US Women's Gymnastic Team takes home all-around gold, Simone Biles makes the most epic comeback since Tokyo, Sydney McLaughlin Levrone breaks her own world record in 400m hurdles, Noah Lyles wins Gold and Bronze while being sick with Covid, Harvard graduate Gabby Thomas take home gold for the women's...

"I haven't the slightest interest in being happy. I prefer to live life passionately, which is dangerous because you never know what might happen next." Paulo Coelho, Adultery We seek passion in our love lives, only to be restrained by daily tasks, traumas, dramas, taxes, and mortality. We yearn for the euphoric eroticism of Eros and the security of love in one person. We used to seek transcendence in spiritual realms, and now we look for transcendence in romance, marriage, work, parenting,...

Are We Ever Satisfied?Lessons from Hamilton, Ashley Madison, and the 10 Commandments "You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied I'm sure I don't know what you mean You forget yourself You're like me, I'm never satisfied Is that right? I have never been satisfied" Hamilton, Satisfied by Lin-Manuel Miranda What does it mean to be satisfied? Moments of satisfaction are woven into our daily lives, from the joy of cleaning out a cluttered closet, to the sense of accomplishment after...

The Search for Genuine BelongingOn a mission to combat the loneliness epidemic "Loneliness is far more than just a bad feeling—it harms both individual and societal health. It is associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death. The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and even greater than that associated with obesity and physical inactivity. And the...

America Goes to Family TherapyHappy 4th of July! The 4th of July is my favorite holiday. I reminisce about being at the beach with family, barbecues, fireworks, and the fun, carefree sentiment we all shared as kids with the adults in our lives. Thank you, founding fathers, for projecting that people would want a summer holiday. With the risk of being slightly controversial, I don't think we can ignore the grave uncertainties America faces today. How can adopting a pro-American attitude create...

How to Use Your Imagination Adults often dismiss imagination as mere child's play. We observe children and expect them to create their own rules, view the world with fresh eyes, and fill the gaps in their knowledge with fantastical possibilities. But as we grow, the realities of life—death, taxes, rent, and mortgages—slowly erode our sense of wonder. We become intensely focused on intellect and undervalue creativity. And, of course, no discussion on imagination would be complete without a nod...